💖The Lover Archetype 5/6 | The Taproot Therapy Podcast - https://www.GetTherapyBirmingham.com (2024)

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The Lover is one of the most difficult archetypes to notice that you are experiencing. By its very nature it is seductive and spontaneous. The Lover is most commonly associated with sex, but sex is the smallest part of the archetype. You cannot experience the Lover by yourself, but you do not necessarily have to experience it with another person. Anytime you are pulled into an alluring daydream, swept up in the rhetoric of a rousing speech, or moved to a sense of greater understanding by a work of art or fiction, you are beginning to fall into the embrace of the Lover. The Lover is a drum circle, it is staring deeply into a bonfire, it is a poem about time, a drug trip. The Lover can be an infinite amount of things.

The Lover is most easily understood as our ability to give up a small part of ourselves to become part of something greater. The Lover is our ability to merge with another person or a group of people. The Lover lets us dissolve part of our own ego to be a part of a greater purpose or force of society. If we do not have access to the Lover we are completely alone, completely with purpose and life becomes an abstraction. We are connection making creatures and it is the Lover archetype that allows us to make those connections.

Because The Lover requires us to give up a piece of ourselves in order to identify with it, over identification with The Lover can be disastrous. Patients over identified with The Lover might try to dissolve themselves passionately into each many new relationships or over identify with each new friend. Extreme over identification with The Lover leaves patients with no sense of self. These patients will operate in society as chameleons. Over identification with the Lover is over identification with something outside of oneself. They will continue to find religious, romantic, or social relationships that let them take on someone else’s identity and concept of self.

When working with patients with substance abuse problems therapists should be very aware of the functioning of the lover archetype. Addiction is often understood by therapists as an attempt to numb out painful emotions or memories, and while this interpretation is correct it is also an incomplete understanding of what addiction is. Substance abuse is always fueled by a desperate attempt to have connection with something. The loneliness and isolation that patients with substance abuse issues feel is an extreme under identification with the lover archetype and the hunger for the wholeness of the lover is often the emotional state sought by the addicted person.

I always tell my patients that an addiction is often a hunger for growth with a simultaneous refusal to change. Substance abuse provides thefeelingof growth and connection without the actualworkor risk. Drugs like alcohol and stimulants often activate the Lover by making us feel productive, creative, loved or accepted. Drugs like depressants or psychedelics often activate the Lover by allowing us to turn off our conscious mind and remerge with the world. Psychedelics and transcendental religious practices often allow a person to experienceego deathor a “oneness” with all things. This form of ultimate connectedness is the most activated state of the archetype as we have completely given up our own identity.

The Lover requires us to have the ability to trust something outside of ourselves and may be difficult for patients with trauma to experience without anxiety. We first learn how safe it is to open up to others within our family of origin. Patients that have a strong under identification with The Lover often never felt safe in their families of origin. Patients over identified with the Lover might have had a parent over identified with their Queen and are used to finding a controlling partner. If someone has made us a puppet then we involuntarily find a puppeteer when we leave our families of origin. These patients often become codependent in relationships, looking for someone to give their life rules and meaning. They believe they are unable to do this for themselves.

The Lover is an often ignored archetype, but is needed to give the other archetypes any ability to operate. What is the cause that the Warrior fights for, where is the growth or the creativity of the Child without The Lover? For that matter, what is the grand vision of a King or control of the Queen without the ability to make a connection? For a patient to participate in a relationship with a therapist there must be some part of the Lover archetype active. Therapy requires trust and a dissolution of boundaries enough for the therapist and patient to collaborate on treatment. We cannot begin to benefit in therapy unless we give up some part of our old self and are willing to be open to creating a new self image. Resistance to the therapy process can also be understood as a resistance to experience this archetype

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💖The Lover Archetype 5/6 | The Taproot Therapy Podcast - https://www.GetTherapyBirmingham.com (2024)


What is the lover archetype summary? ›

What is the lover archetype? The lover archetype is the character or characters - there can be more than one in a story - who experiences the most essential of emotions: love. This character seeks togetherness and security, passion and fun, sensuality and pleasure.

How to activate the lover archetype? ›

How to embody the Lover archetype
  1. Practice self-love.
  2. Work on building your inner confidence.
  3. Indulge in self-pleasure.
  4. Work with a healer or therapist to heal past wounds (including any trauma or abuse)
  5. Write yourself (or someone else) a love letter.
  6. Wear clothes that make you feel like a Goddess.
Jul 13, 2023

What are the flaws of the lover archetype? ›

However, the Ideal Lover archetype also has several cons. Their seductive powers can be manipulative and dishonest, and they may use their charms to deceive or exploit others. They may also struggle with commitment and may be more focused on the pursuit of pleasure than building lasting relationships.

What is the goal of the lover archetype? ›

Lovers Archetype wants to create experiences that build relationships and long-lasting memories. They want you to associate them with the intimate moments in your life. They also help you appreciate those you love. However, not all Lover brands are about romance, neither are they exclusively feminine.

What are the colors for the Lover archetype? ›

Brands with The Lover archetype typically highlight rich colors and smooth textures. These brands often focus heavily on deep reds, sometimes accented by soothing greens or cream shades. The Lover aesthetics appeal to all five of the senses, incorporating rich visuals that bring to mind sounds, scents, and sensations.

What character fits the Lover archetype? ›

Examples of lover archetype characters in movies include Rose in “Titanic,” Satine in “Moulin Rouge!,” Maria in “West Side Story,” and Allie in “The Notebook.” These characters exemplify passion, desire, and deep, powerful love.

What is the rarest archetype personality? ›

Perhaps that's because INFJ is the rarest MBTI personality type, making up only 1% to 3% of the U.S. population.1 Or maybe it's because they're walking, talking contradictions. INFJs are easy-going perfectionists. They're both logical and emotional, creative and analytical.

What is the motto of the Lover archetype? ›

Lover Archetype Definition

The Lover is obsessed with being in a relationship with people, work, experiences, and surroundings they adore. The Lover archetype's motto is: “Love is the meaning of life”. Lovers may be known as partners, intimates, matchmakers, enthusiasts, connoisseurs, sensualists, and team builders.

What is the forbidden love archetype? ›

The Forbidden Love trope involves a romantic relationship between two characters that society, family, or some external circ*mstances deem inappropriate or unacceptable.

What are the fears of the lover archetype? ›

They are terrified of being alone. Getting excluded from the group, not having their passions reciprocated or even acknowledged are some of the greatest fears for the Lover, who usually has such a narrow, precise goal that anything less than bliss will leave them broken-hearted.

What is the lover personality type? ›

Lover individuals are most fulfilled by building relationships. Naturally appreciative, passionate, and committed, they enjoy creating consensus and motivating others to see and utilize their own special gifts. They're usually excited and challenged by opportunities to enjoy the richness and fullness of life.

What brands are the lover archetype? ›

Brands that embody the Lovers archetype are admired for their unique ability to pull on heartstrings and bring people closer. Some perfect examples are Dolce & Gabbana, Tiffany & Co., Godiva, Hugo Boss, and Chanel. This archetype can also be seen in film and in other aspects of culture.

How does the Lover archetype dress? ›

The colors associated with the Lover archetype tend to be rich, sensual, and emotionally charged. Reds and pinks, in particular, are strongly associated with this archetype, as they symbolize passion, desire, and romance.

Why is the Lover archetype important? ›

They're the character that brings emotion and feeling to your stories. They're all about creating relationships and evoking devotion in the audience. They strive to make other people feel loved and secure and take pleasure in meeting the needs of others.

What is the summary of archetype? ›

Lesson Summary

We recognize ourselves and/or the world in archetypes - the characters and symbols/situations that represent the human experience. Archetypes are a foundation of literature because they encapsulate those distinctive things that make us human while being universally relatable.

What is the lover brand personality archetype? ›

The lover archetype is one of The 12 Brand Archetypes that represents passion, love, and connection. Brands that fall into this category create desire by selling not just products and services, but experiences that resonate with the inner desire for love and intimacy.

What is the lover archetype style guide? ›

The Lover Archetype Colors

Reds and pinks, in particular, are strongly associated with this archetype, as they symbolize passion, desire, and romance. Shades of purple and deep blues can also be associated with the Lover, representing sensuality, creativity, and emotional depth.

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