My Mother and My father were together for quite awhile.
Before i was born, both of my parent's had Alcohol Addictions.
During the time they spent together they seemed pretty 'Happy'
at the least.
Then things seemed to change.
Both of my parents came to an agreement of quitting their own
Alcohol usage.
My Father-- he made my mother a better person.
My Father-- he treated her like a 'Queen'.
After the long process, they both gave up their addictions.
Then, i came along.
After i showed up, both of my parents had their own complications
in which they had to deal with.
(My mom, she missed her family. She was adopted right after her own mother gave birth to her.. She died on that hospital table, and not even two days after that-- my mom's father, he died right alongside his wife.)
"And that's how my mom became an Orphan."
She grew up in a rough lifestyle. Living with a man who she was supposed to call 'Daddy'.
This So-called 'Daddy' injected himself with needles in front of my mom at the age of 16. Making her watch.
As for my mom's Step mother, she always had a washing machine belt in hand, just ready to bend my mothers head over in a toilet bowl and whip her from behind for no cause what-so-ever.
My Mom wanted to find some of her long lost step brother's and
sister's alongside, her REAL brother with whom she lived with when living with her adoptive parents.
My Father-- Did everything for her-- and promised her that they would find links to her real Brother.
(And indeed they did.)
My father, one night, opened up a yellow pages book-- and ended up searching for names. And there-- there, he came across my moms real Brother whom she used to live with-- before she ran away at 19 years of age.
My Mother, Was full of joy-- it actually brought tears to her eyes. Hugging my Father, wincing, saying "Thank you, Thank you!"
My Father arranged for my mom and her brother to actually meet.
Then once they met, they stared at each other for a good 2 mins, broke down into tears and hugged one another.
My Uncle, (my mom's brother ) not only brought himself when he came down to see my mom.
He also brought BEER. (A 16 pack of Milwaukee)
And knowing my mother-- she couldn't Wait to get her hands on one.
Staring down that 16 pack, that night-- she ended up drinking 6 cans of it.
"I knew things would turn out for the worse..."
My father didn't like the idea, but since it was a time of 'celebration' he let it slide.
Then, the next few days-- when my mom's brother was to return home, back to where he lived, he asked my mother if she would tag along for a small little weekend vacation.
My mother--- begging and pleading to my father, of course got the answer she wanted,
"Yes-- you can go... i'll be ready to pick you up at the end of the week." He said.
My mom took me,(11 years old) to go down to Maine. And there-- i stayed, sleeping in a small trailer with a big great Dane who always squished me / licked my face when getting onto the bed.
We were supposed to return---
Long story short, that night-- when we went down to Maine, my mom, along with her Brother and his 'Friends' Drank and Drank the night away.
I-- however, went to bed early, (i didn't like the noise of blasting music. Nor did i like the smell of straight up cigars and boos. )
Then the next morning, i awoke. And the house was silent...
The only thing running was the kitchen sink in which was on full power-- blasting.
Me, getting up, i go to turn it off. Walking into the kitchen, evading big huge clumps of vomit and broken glasses of wine cups on the floor. Me, sniffling... wondering-- "Where's Mommy???"
Then as i'm walking down the bedroom hallways, i come across the Great Dane, whimpering, with vomit all down it's back... looking quite 'confused' and 'scared' from the current incidents that wen't on that night before.
My mother, was in another room... Laying on the floor in front
of a glass coffee table. Sprawled out, grabbing at her throat, wheezing, staring at me, helplessly saying,
"T--Terr...i..... I...In..Inhaler..."
Me, in a panic, i run around the trailer looking for that damn inhaler, fearing that if i'm not fast enough-- i'll be the cause of my mother's lack of oxygen and possibly, her DEATH.
I scatter, and i find the inhaler and i run down that narrow hallway, going to my moms side, tears strolling down my face as i grab her hand, giving her the inhaler, mumbling,
"B--Breathe... Please Breathe... Please... Please..."
(She was able to breathe and i basically ended up being put in a spot where i felt like 'Mom'.)
Taking care of her-- cleaning around the house for the next couple of days, spiffing things up before my father returned to get us.
Cleaning-- i get these horrible flashbacks of the night before, when she started drinking and crashing into everything...
"Damn... such a horrible night..."
(Still till this day, i always thought, 'What if--- i couldn't find her inhaler in time?!?!...)
or
('what if--- I gave her the inhaler and when she wen't to take her last breath, there was no more compressed air?!?! what if it ran out????')
My Father, then came down to retrieve me and my mom, and there i stayed shut-- not opening my mouth, being quiet and Scarred by the previous nights.
My dad--- furious, (I can hear him yelling at my mother as i'm sitting in that 70 degree car....)
Saying, "What the hell Carolyn?! After Everything??? we worked so hard! and here you are-- CHEATING ON ME????! With a random man that you-- 'Met at the bar' ????! DRINKING????"
Then he'd slam the car's trunk and give my mom the death glare, and i can see this in the rear view mirror. Tears streaming down my face as my Father says "Get in the car-- Were going home..."
And then my mother-- Hesitant, gripping her bags, saying,
"no--- i'm staying here... i like it here."
(my father--- WOOH, let me tell you, his facial expression was something you wouldn't want to see coming your way.)
And after that-- there was a constant custody battle....
First my mother had me, then my Father, then my mother another two times.
And in the end--- they wen't to court to face off for the last time-- and there, the judge gave me over to my father and simply said,
"Keep her safe, give her high expectations, Make Her Happy."
And here i am, sitting at my computer-- Sharing my story with all you fellow people.
and this is why i'm against Alcohol.
(You see-- my mom, and my sister both have major depression.
And they both drink a lot of Alcohol. And They both have lost
Their own children to it. )
As for me, i'm trying to be a happy normal teen,
and i'm trying to break the chain in which is passed down
from generation to generation.
So hopefully you guys understand. And i love you all.
